Being Human
by greengirl82
Summary: A new series of one-shots, some featuring Hotch as the lead, some with Emily but it's all about supporting the one you care about.
1. Restless Wanderer

**Being Human**

Disclaimer: I want to say that I own Criminal Minds, but I don't. CBS does.

Summary: While away on a case, the team shares a hotel suite and in the middle of the night, Hotch wakes up to hear a distraught Emily after the Doyle drama.

A/N: A new series of one-shots, some featuring Hotch as the lead, some with Emily but it's all about supporting the one you care about.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"The study of crime begins with the knowledge of oneself." Henry Miller

* * *

Hotch bolted awake from his dream, sighing inwardly. Looking over at the clock he saw it was two o'clock in the morning.

Glancing over, he saw Dave was fast asleep. The sound of light snoring gave Hotch the urge to smother his friend, for being able to sleep throughout the night.

Hotch got up and decided to get a glass of water, something to occupy his mind and pass the time until he could get to sleep again.

Walking out of the room he shared with Dave, Hotch closed the door and passed by the room that Morgan shared with Reid.

Hotch passed by JJ and Emily's room frowning. The door to their shared room was opened. Peeking inside he saw JJ fast asleep then quickly looked over to the extra bed but didn't see Emily.

Forgetting his need for water, Hotch wandered the room and saw the light on under the door to the bathroom.

Wondering if he should knock to check on her, he debated inside his head if he even should bother.

Emily always appeared to be fine since her return to the team. She passed her psych eval with flying colors, he knew that.

Ever since her return three weeks ago following Doyle's death, she came to him asking to return to his team. He had seriously debated whether allowing her back on the team.

A spot was opened, Seavers' was gone, transferring to Organized Crime. The team missed Emily, and forgave her for not telling them the truth about Doyle, when they learned she ran to protect them. Her family.

So Hotch gave her a spot back on his BAU team but was wary of trusting her, again. He knew it wrong not to trust her, but he felt that they were friends before the Doyle mess. He had trusted her, listened to her advice on the job regarding Jordan Todd, Ashley Seaver and she even searched for him when he was missing following his stabbing during the Foyet mess.

But she kept something from him that was important, that nearly got her killed. That killed her Interpol team.

If he were honest with himself, he'd know that it was just about a criminal that made him upset, it hurt his feelings too, but he had put that aside earlier after her stabbing to put her safety first. While she was gone and the team was mourning her death, he was mourning not his friend, but his feelings which had gone from friendship to possible love. But he couldn't focus on that while she was off to parts unknown.

Now here he was standing in a dark hotel suite that he shared with his team in front of a bathroom door, not knowing if he should knock to check on his one time friend.

What drew him out of his inner monologue was the sound of a small voice, crying.

Hotch felt his heartbreak, he knew that voice. That person that was crying. And he didn't have a single clue what to do.

He knew if he went in their to comfort her, she'd lock this emotion in a little box and file it away in her head. That wasn't healthy, to bottle every emotion inside.

Sinking down on the floor, he sat outside the bathroom. Filled with relief that the rest of his team was whole and asleep.

Hotch sat on the carpet, and placed his hand on the bathroom door hoping she could feel his strength.

His heart broke hearing the sniffles of the brunette, a woman he had admired and respected, but now wished he knew what was racing through her mind. He'd give anything to know what she was thinking.

A small wry sobbed chuckle escaped her lips and her voice silently said, "I got you. You can't hurt them."

Hotch's eyebrow rose and he wondered if she was talking about Doyle.

"Thank you, God." Emily sniffled "Thank you."

Unable to bare to hear her pain anymore, Hotch turned the doorknob and heard her gasps as she looked up from her spot on the bathroom floor in front of the bathtub.

He thought he saw a small wave of fear enter her tear filled eyes, but he just sat down next to the brunette.

Pulling her in his arms to hug her close to his chest, he rubbed his hand up and down her back, rocking her back and forth.

"Hotch?" Emily whispered uncertainly.

"Shhh." Hotch said quietly "Shhh, it's ok. I got you. You're safe now."

Emily clung to his shirt and he could hear the sobs subside into a soft sigh.

"I won't ever leave you alone again." Hotch promised her.

Emily pulled herself up and looked him in the face, he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"We've got your back." Hotch told her, looking at her "I've got your back."  
Hotch helped her up and walked them over to the couch and laid her down, getting in next to her.

"Hotch?" Emily said uncertainly.

"Just rest." Hotch told her, pulling a blanket on them from the back of the couch.

Hotch wrapped his arm around Emily and she laid her head on top of his chest.

Kissing her forehead he whispered, "Good night, Emily."

"Good night, Hotch." Emily told him.

Both dark-haired agents fell asleep, not caring that the team would see them in the morning in this embrace.

* * *

"Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." Albert Smith

* * *

**To Be Continued... **

See the review box over there? Please leave a review, even a smiley face will do. Thanks. :)


	2. A Broken Moment

**Being Human**

Disclaimer: CBS still owns Criminal Minds, not me...

Summary: Just when you think everything seems right in your world something unexpected happens.

A/N: A new chapter in this series, it's sad beware. BTW, thank you all for the kind words on my Grandmother's passing. Today is her funeral, and I'll be very distracted so any comments on the stories, I'll appreciate but will be unable to answer due to the hectic schedule of the day.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses." George Bernard Shaw

* * *

Emily sat at her desk, head buried in case files trying to get through them as quickly as possible when she heard a small chuckle behind her.

Turning around she saw Reid and Morgan look over at her as they descended the break room.

"What's so funny?" Emily asked looking back and forth from the two men.

Reid shook his head, while Morgan wandered over to his desk shaking his head.

"What?" Emily repeated, a touch of annoyance laced in her tone.

Morgan chuckled, "Trying to make us all look bad by finishing your work early?"

Emily glared, "Well where you're concerned it shouldn't be that much of a stretch."

"Hardy har har." Morgan said sitting down.

Emily resumed her work, not paying attention to the people around her when a voice pulled her out of her work.

"Agent Prentiss?" a young man said, "Detective Fields, Virginia Police."

Emily got up, shaking the detective's hand, "How may I help you?"

"Can we speak in private?" Fields asked.

"Certainly." Emily said leading the detective out of the bullpen, not noticing the prying eyes of Morgan or Hotch.

Hotch glanced over at Morgan who mouthed 'cop' to him.

As he resumed back to the mindless task of signing off on reports he looked over to see Emily trudge back into the bullpen.

Hotch was slightly concerned when he saw that she just resumed her paper work not engaging in Morgan's teasing of Reid.

This caused the team leader to frown and wonder what the officer had told her, unable to not know Hotch strolled down to the bullpen and stop at her desk.

"Prentiss?" Hotch said lightly.

"Hmm?" Emily said turning to look up at him "Yeah?"

"What was that about?" Hotch asked her.

"What was what about?" Emily asked, trying to look confused.

Narrowing his eyes, Hotch leaned down he lowered his voice, "What did the detective speak to you about?"

Trying to control her breathing, "None of your business, sir."

"Come with me to my office, Prentiss." Hotch said in a detached dull tone.

Emily picked up her finished files and followed Hotch back to his office, standing in front of his desk she placed the files on the edge of the desk.

"Prentiss" Hotch said, "I know things haven't been easy since your return. However I thought that we had reached some sort of semblance of a friendship..."

Emily raised an eyebrow at that, "Look, my apologies for any disrespect, Hotch. But my conversation with the detective was private, it has nothing to do with anything regarding the Bureau or any cases."

Hotch nodded, still a touch upset that she won't open up to him.

Emily bit her lip as she played with her finger nail, "I'm going to take some personal time."

Hotch furrowed his brow at that, "May I ask why?"

Clearing her throat, "A family emergency."

Nodding at that, "All right, I'll arrange for you to have a week off."

"Thanks." Emily muttered leaving his office.

Hotch turned his head and saw her gather up her belongings, heading to the elevator. The team leader saw Morgan look over at him raising an eyebrow but he just shook his head.

Going back over to his desk, he picked up his phone "I need you to come up here, I need your help."

Emily sat at her kitchen counter, hanging up her phone and closing the file on her computer.

"At least now I've got everything done." Emily murmured to her cat, Sergio who sat on the counter looking at her.

The cat meowed, so she ran her fingers through his soft fur, feeling the comfort of something tangible.

Emily jumped when she heard the house phone ring, "Hello?"

Emily picked up the cat and wandered over to her couch as she listened to the caller speak.

"Yeah, I know." Emily said in agreement "I'm just glad it didn't make the news."

Emily absent-mindedly pet the dark cat, as she listened to the caller speak.

"I know it'll be all over the news tomorrow." Emily said "I'm just grateful I got one day to myself before it hit."

Hearing a knock on her door, "You take care ok? Bye."

Emily set the phone down on the counter as she wandered over to the front door, peering through the peephole she groaned.

"Of course." Emily muttered, opening the door.

"What?" Emily asked "What are you doing here so late?"

Standing in the hallway, Hotch looked over and could see the tired, distress and anxiety on her face.

"Can I come in?" Hotch asked.

Sighing, Emily opened the door letting him in the closing the door behind her.

Emily saw Hotch glance around the apartment and his eyes landed on her laptop, to which she went over and closed.

"I thought you arranged for me to take the week off?" Emily asked seeing him just stare.

"I did." Hotch said sighing, "I know why you're so upset and it's understandable."

Emily froze, turning towards the lap top, "How did you find out?"

"Garcia" Hotch said seeing Emily shoot him a look, "She found out. Why didn't you tell me?"

Sighing, she sat down on the stool at her counter, "Because it's my own personal business. My private life."

Hotch took the seat next to her, "You know you could have told anyone on the team and they'd completely understand."

Emily's eyes narrowed on his face as she pulled back, "What part of my own private life do you not get?" Emily said angrily, "You wouldn't like it if we all dug into your personal life, neither would anyone else on the team. We're all a bunch of profilers but there has to be a minute where you can shut it off regarding something and this is my time to turn it off."

"I'm sorry." Hotch said, "I don't want to push you, but it hurts to see you shut yourself off regarding this."

Running her hand over her forehead, "Jesus Christ Hotch, this is my problem. It doesn't need to be fixed by anyone because there isn't anyway to fix this. This death is unfortunately permanent."

"You're handling this rather well." Hotch said quietly.

Emily snorted and looked over at him, "You mean because I'm not having a nervous breakdown, screaming or smashing things?" Emily asked "Because if that's what you're talking about, you should have been here about an hour earlier."

Hotch saw her tilt her head towards the kitchen and he looked and saw shattered plates all over the floor.

"I've moved passed the anger staged into the acceptance stage." Emily said.

Hotch lightly chuckled, surprised she still had her sense of humor, he saw her open up the lap top.

"You probably wondered why it wasn't all over the news yet." Emily said opening up a link and showing him "Because they had to identify then notify all the next of kins."

"Oh" Hotch said.

"They finally tracked down the next of kin to the pilots." Emily said "So by tomorrow morning everyone will know that Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss was killed in a private plane crash."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Hotch said lightly.

Emily nodded and looked over at the article written, "She was en rout when the engine failed and they crashed into a mountain. All thirteen people aboard died instantly."

Emily ran her hand over her mouth to hold in the sob, when she looked back over at Hotch, "I still haven't tracked my dad down," Emily said softly "The last I heard he was with trophy wife number three in Greece."

"Do you want Garcia to..." Hotch asked, only to see her shake her head.

"No." Emily said shaking her head, "It's not like he won't find out anyway, but it'd be better if it came from me. I think I've got the number somewhere around..."

Hotch saw her shoulders drop, "God, I can't believe I'm losing it now." Emily said sniffling her nose, "I handle myself so well when I talked to the police, all her colleagues, the funeral arrangements but now thinking about tracking down my father to tell him this? I lose it over this?"

Hotch got off the stool, wrapping his arms around her, "It's ok to break once in a while. It reminds us all that we're not tough as steel and need people to lean on."

Emily's breathing became labored, "I have to do this." Emily said "I need to be strong for her, because if anything else that's who she raised me to be."

"We're all in this with you." Hotch said "You've got us to rely on."

Emily felt Hotch hold her close, rubbing her back, she whispered, "Thank you."

Emily felt Hotch pick her up and take her to the couch, as he sat he held her close.

* * *

Henry Boye said, "The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway."

* * *

**To Be Continued... **

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	3. Alone

**Being Human**

Disclaimer: CBS + their affiliates = Criminal Minds...

Summary: Hotch worries when Emily pulls away from him after they have grown closer since her return.

A/N: Here's a new chapter in this series, I hope you all like it.

Thanks for reading, don't forget about leaving a review.

* * *

Mother Teresa said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved."

* * *

Hotch sighed as he set down the pen and looked down into the bullpen, frowning.

As he looked down at the brunette in the bullpen he noticed that she looked up and saw him staring at her.

Hotch felt his heart beat as he stared into Emily's dark brown eyes, he could tell that she was nervous from the way he was watching her.

But he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. He was worried about her, because she was pulling away from him and he didn't know why.

He knew that they had grown close, closer than they ever had been before since she first joined the team.

He turned in his desk chair and saw Emily get up walking towards the break room. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw her quietly talk to Dave.

Hotch saw Dave nod then hand her something that but he couldn't identify. Returning back to her desk, she signed her files before shutting them and grabbing her go bag giving Dave a nod.

Shaking his head, Hotch saw Dave stop by Emily's desk, grab the files before coming up to the catwalk and knocking on his door.

"Come in" Hotch said in a gruff voice, annoyance evident in his tone.

"Well that was a welcoming tone" Dave said sarcastically, "You sure know how to make people feel welcomed, Aaron."

Hotch looked up from his paperwork, "And what can I do for you, Dave?"

Dave sighed, "I'm passing along Emily's finished files."

Hotch's head looked up at that, "And why couldn't she do that herself?"

Dave rolled his eyes, "You know why, Aaron. You were practically watching every single step she made down in the bullpen." Dave ran his hand over his face, "She asked me for a couple of days off to clear her head. She's already cleared it with Strauss."

Hotch's eyebrow shot up at that, "And nobody thought to tell me? I am only her boss after all."

Dave inhaled a deep breath, "She asked me to tell you, and she didn't really need to clear it with you. She got Strauss' ok. Seems the old gal finally developed a conscience, and is letting Emily take some time off."

Hotch rubbed his hand over the back of his neck muttering, "Of course, now she chooses to be human."

Dave's eyebrow shot up at that, "Well I'm going to go back to work..."

"Wait" Hotch said suddenly, he needed to know something, "What did you give her in the break room?"

"What?" Dave asked.

"In the break room" Hotch repeated, "What did you give Emily? Did she tell you if she's going home or going somewhere?"

Dave rubbed his eyes, "I knew it. I always knew it. How could she not see it?"

"Knew what?" Hotch asked, "See what?"

"You're in love with her" Dave said, "Even before the whole Doyle thing, I knew you had feelings for her."

Before Hotch could deny it, Dave held up a hand stopping him, "You should really tell her, I know you two have grown close since her return. We've all seen it, it only makes sense, the two of you drifting closer..."

Hotch covered his face with his hands, "God, I'm not even going to try to deny it. I don't even know how the hell this happened. I swear I only wanted us to be friends, but now she's pulling back, she's pulling away Dave. And I don't know what to do about it, I'm afraid she's distancing herself because she knows..."

"Well all you can really do is talk to her. Ask her what's wrong." Dave said sighing, "Aaron, she's at my cabin. She asked to borrow it for a few days to clear her head, but I think it would do her some good to talk to a friend."

Hotch looked down at the paper work, "But I've got work..."

"Aaron." Dave said, "Work can wait. Hell you've got a whole team that's here to help, even if we bitch and moan about the amount of paper work we already have."

Hotch got up grabbing his jacket and rushed out of the BAU, while Dave grinned at that then looked over at the papers on the desk, "Sometimes I'm just too nice."

Emily zipped up her sweater as she walked out of the cabin with her Kurt Vonnegut book.

Walking over to the edge of the lake she sat down on the small tree stump, pushing her back into the sturdy oak tree as she opened the book.

She closed her eyes, going over the image in her head.

She could see it clear as day, they were sitting in the park laughing and having a good time when all that had changed, as the sky would turn dark. Emily knew it would never really go away or ever stop, she could hear his voice whispering in her ear.

His soft words as he pulled her into a kiss and then she'd look up into those cold eyes and she knew that it was all over...

"Emily?" Hotch whispered lightly pulling the book from the sleeping brunette, her eyes opened in fear as she looked at him, "Emily are you ok?"

Trying to keep her composure, she grabbed her book back, "What are you doing here? Did Dave tell you I was here?"

"Yes" Hotch said lightly, "I'm worried about you. What's wrong, talk to me."

"I'm fine, Hotch" Emily said, "I just need a few days to myself."

Getting up, she refused to accept his hand up, "You should probably go."

Hotch grasped her elbow, "Emily, I know something's wrong. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the problem is."

Emily wrenched her elbow free of his grip, "Goddamn it, not everything has to be solved by you. Just mind your own business, Hotch."

Hotch followed her as she tried to go back to the cabin, only he grabbed her arm pulling her back to him as they walked around the lake.

"Emily, I'm not going to let you walk away." Hotch said trying to keep his temper in check.

She struggled against his hands, both of them not noticing that as he pulled and she pushed they both careened into the lake.

Emily gasped as they hit the water, Hotch looked over to see her shocked expression turn into one of humor as she laughed.

Hotch couldn't resist the chuckles he let out too.

As Emily tried to make her way back to the grass, Hotch pulled her back, "Now are you going to talk to me? What did I do? Why are you pulling away from me?"

Emily felt him turning her around, while the water made her clothes feel heavier, she tried to keep herself from tripping in the water.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hotch asked looking at her.

"Trying to get my ass out of the lake, what does it look like?" Emily said as she gave one good tug, she walked out of the water and sat herself on the grass.

"What did I do?" Hotch repeated looking over at her, "Emily, I can tell you're mad at me about something, please talk to me."

Emily ran her hand over her face, then grimaced when she realized that it was dirty, shaking her head as the water cascaded down her shirt.

"I can't talk about this right now, Hotch" Emily said lightly, "I'm going to go in, change and hopefully get some sleep. Bye."

Emily stood up, starting to walk towards the house only to find herself planted face first on to the grass when Hotch tackled her and flipped her over on her back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Emily barked out, struggling to free herself from his grip.

"Uh uh" Hotch said holding her down, "You're not going anywhere until we talk."

"Did it ever escape your mind, that not everything is about you?" Emily asked, "That maybe this is about me?"

Hotch leaned back, "Ok, I'd buy that if you didn't walk around the past week treating me like I had the plague."

Emily took a deep breath, "Can you please get off of me? Call me crazy but I find it hard to breathe when someone's sitting on top of me."

Hotch shifted his weight but didn't get off of her, "Answer me, what's going on?"

Emily looked up at him, biting her lip, "Ok, I'll tell you."

Hotch moved backwards to sit next to her on the grass as she leaned up, looking over at him.

"I swear it's not about you." Emily said, "Its... its... It's the nightmares, ok?"

"You're having nightmares?" Hotch asked lightly, "Is it about Doyle?"

Emily nodded, "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hotch asked softly, "Maybe it'll help."

Emily sighed, "They're usually bad ones, mostly about that night in the warehouse. But the last week..."

"Yeah?" Hotch asked.

"It starts out as the warehouse one, but then it switches to him going after all you guys." Emily said lightly, "And I usually wake up before he... He gets to you all. But the reason I've distanced myself from you is because he not only gets you but he gets Jack. And I can never wake up until after I see what he does to you and Jack."

Hotch turns to look at her, "That's just nightmare Emily. It's not real."

Emily sniffled her nose, "But it feels real because before he started his reign of horror on my life, he... He threatened all of you, your friends, family. Your children, all to get to Declan. And I feel like this is still all my fault. I could have stopped this by giving him what he wanted, but I couldn't let him get to Declan..."

Hotch grasped her hands making her look at him, "You couldn't have predicted what lengths he would have gone to. And even if you could, you wouldn't just hand over an innocent child to him. No matter what choices you would have made he still would have hurt someone. We're just lucky that he can't hurt anyone anymore."

Hotch saw her bite her lip, "He can't hurt you anymore Emily, not even in your dreams."

Lifting her chin up to look in her eyes, "You're not alone anymore. We're all here, waiting for you. All you have to do is open up and let us in, we can get through this together."

"I know" Emily said, "I just wish I didn't feel so guilty every time I look at Reid and see the pain in his eyes."

Hotch pulled her into a hug, "He's just going to need some time." Hotch whispered rubbing her back, "Everyone needs time to get back to where we all were."

Emily looked up, "Since when did you become the all knowing Guru on this?"

Hotch smiled showing off his dimples, "Since I missed one of my closest friends."

As Hotch leaned down and kissed her forehead, Emily felt her heart beat faster, she smiled, "Do you want to come inside and get clean? Can't guarantee that Dave's got any clothes that'll fit but at least you won't catch a cold."

"Sure" Hotch said, "So we're all good?"

Emily looked up giving him a smile as he held her close, "We're better than good."

Emily felt something shift in her friendship with Hotch, when he took her hand pulling her close to wrap an arm around her, she could tell he felt it too.

But she knew he'd take it slow because as much as they both wanted this, they both knew she needed to adjust before taking a next step.

"Hey" Hotch said as he closed the cabin door behind him, "Did I tell you how happy I am that you're back?"

Emily smiled, "Yeah but it's always nice to hear."

Emily leaned over kissing his cheek, "Go get changed, I'll put some coffee on."

Hotch walked up the stairs, but glanced back into the kitchen and seen a smile grace Emily's face and he couldn't help the one that made its appearance on his own as he went into Dave's room.

* * *

"We visit others as a matter social obligation. How long has it been since we have visited with ourselves?" Morris Adler

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

Well I hope you all liked this, leave a review and let me know...


	4. We All Fall Down

**Being Human**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, but I have an inventive mind.

Summary: Hotch falls into a dark hole after losing a victim to a unsub, and the team rallies around him to try to lift his spirits all except for the recently returned Emily...

A/N: So I decided to add in a Hotch story to this series, I know it's not very in character of him to be down but after all we're all human.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling... People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile." Judith Guest

* * *

The team watched as Hotch marched out of his office, leaving earlier than he had ever had before, to head home. Each had understood his need to leave early not even needing to see the withdrawn, forlorn expression on his face.

"This is bad" JJ murmured from her spot in the bullpen. Turning around to the concerned eyes of Dave, she nodded for him to come down for a meeting.

As Dave descended down the catwalk, he can hear JJ start the conversation with the remaining team members.

"Look I know being in this kind of job we're in we have to be prepared for anything" JJ said licking her lips as she looked at the faces of her friends "But we can't let Hotch fall into this depression."

"JJ, I think we just have to let him work through the motions" Morgan said "Let him go through the stages of grieves."

Reid looked over, "I think JJ's right" Reid said sighing "We need to help him, and just letting him go through a series of emotions isn't going to help."

Emily looked down at her fingernails, picking at it not acknowledging the team.

Dave sighed as he watched the team go back and forth with plans at rallying around Hotch's state of mind.

"I think we need to take turns watching him" Dave said vocalizing his concerns "Last night I talked to Jessica, she told me that Hotch asked her to keep Jack for a while."

"How is Jack?" Emily asked pondering the little boy's own state due to his father's frame of mind.

"Jessica said that he's handling it better than she thought he was" Dave said "We're just lucky he's so young that he doesn't understand everything that's happening."

"Well at least we know he hasn't gone through all the grieving stages yet." Garcia said sniffling "Can you imagine what would have happen if he hit anger stage?"

"I know that we're all worried about Hotch but try to remember he witness that terrible tragedy and we need to help pull him through this." Dave said shaking his head, "We need to set out a time schedule."

"What about his job?" Morgan asked "How are we going to swing that?"

"I've cleared it with the temporary Section Chief. I told him that Hotch's taking sometime off." Dave told the team "I'll go first. I can work around the time when I have to come in, but we'll have to make sure that one of us is with him until the others can arrive."

Setting out a time frame that everyone settled on, Emily turned her head away not wanting the team to see that she was having conflicting feelings about watching Hotch until his depression kicked.

"I can take the shift in the afternoon, do my case work at Hotch's" JJ offered seeing the team nod in response "Reid, do you think you can take over for Dave in the morning?"

"Sure." Reid agreed while everyone got their Hotch watch scheduled down.

"Everyone satisfied with the schedule?" Dave asked looking at the team who nodded then looked over at Emily, "Emily?"

Clearing her throat, "Yeah, it's fine."

"Ok, I'm going to go over and stay the night." Dave said, "Remember you're schedules."

Emily walked into the BAU, placing her go bag down and frowned as she looked around the empty bullpen.

Shrugging she noticed Dave's office light up and went up the catwalk she knocked on his door and saw the team minus Reid was in there.

"What's going on?" Emily asked seeing the team talking.

"There you are" JJ said relieved "We need you to cover Dave's evening schedule tonight."

"Why?" Emily asked "I thought I'm suppose to get the late afternoon shift with him."

"We got a case and you're the only one that hasn't had a watch with him, other than Morgan and well..." Dave said half hazard.

"What?" Emily asked "Why can't Morgan stay with him?"

Sighing Dave ran his hand through his hair as he let out a breath, "Because we need him and we think you could be the one to reach Hotch."

Frowning, Emily raised an eyebrow, "How can I be the one to reach him? I'm not exactly a psychiatrist here, Dave."

Groaning, JJ got up and walked to Emily, "We know that you were struggling with depression when you came back."

Emily inhaled her breath and she glared at Dave, she told him but did he tell the team?

"No" JJ said shaking her head, "He didn't tell us. We saw it ourselves. The only reason we didn't do a intervention for you was because you chose to get help, Hotch isn't doing that."

Emily sighed, she knew her friends were right. She did choose to get help, but not through the Bureau although she did see their shrink as was mandatory for all agents. But she knew Hotch held too much pride to seek help.

"Fine," Emily said trying not to sound defeated but she didn't want to do this, she didn't want to force him to ask for something he wasn't ready for..

Standing outside Hotch's door, Emily held the apartment key in her hand that Dave passed her before she left, with explicit instructions to help not hurt.

Unlocking the door, Emily walked into the dark room and saw Hotch sitting on the window seat staring out at the dark night sky.

"Hotch?" Emily said lightly, flicking on the table light "It's Emily."

"Hmpp" Hotch greeted.

"I'm not going to ask you how you're feeling" Emily said kicking off her shoes to take the empty spot next to him "Because that would only be redundant. And you don't have to talk because I'm sure that's the last thing you feel like doing. So I just want you to listen."

Emily pried the bottle of bourbon out of his hands and handed him a bottled water she carried in her bag.

"Drinking yourself into oblivion is not going to bring that little boy back." Emily said "You did everything you could to protect him, but sometimes the bad guys win."

"A little too often don't you think?" Hotch muttered.

Sighing, "What the hell are you doing to yourself?" Emily asked "I know depression, I lived through depression and..."

"I know, I know, I know" Hotch muttered "You beat it, good for you. How about letting me handle my depression my way?"

"You can't do this to yourself" Emily said "You have son to think about. Remember Jack? You know where that little boy is right now?"

Hotch shut his eyes, a look of hurt hit his face before he masked his emotion.

"I honestly don't know what to say to you" Emily said "But I guess I'm just going to have to bust my ass and be honest and open..." Groaning she muttered to herself "You need to pull yourself together for Jack, for yourself and the team. We're all here for you but you have to meet us halfway."

Hotch turned his attention back to her, "Why are you even here? I know you don't want to be here."

Licking her lips, "Because you helped me when I was at my worst." Emily said "You and JJ saved my life, even after I kept my connection to Doyle a secret."

Emily picked at her fingernail, biting her lip nodding her head, "All right I didn't want to be here, but not because I blame you for not protecting that little boy, Hotch you tried your best to save him. Everyone knows that. It's just after all these years of doing the job that we do, you still could be affected by something as horrific as that makes me realize that you are human."

Hotch looked down at the ground "Of course I'm human, Pren... Emily. I saw that child's body and..."

"All you could see was Jack's face." Emily answered placing her hand lightly on his arm "That's what made me come here to try to help you, because I'm proud of you. I'm proud that my friend, who's been in this line of work for so long that can still be affected by something that goes so badly, especially when it comes to children."

Hotch looked up at her, and gave her a subtle nod as he took a sip of the water.

"I'd offer you bourbon but..." Hotch said looking down at the empty glass in her hand.

"You drank it all?" Emily said lightly placing the glass on the end table next to her, "How about you get up, take a shower and brush your teeth because you stink."

Hotch let out a wry chuckle at that, "I guess I do, don't I?"

Pulling out the card, "We won't make you see the Bureau shrink, but you do need to talk to someone who can help." Emily said clearing her throat, handing him the card, "Dr. Jones, he really helped when I came back."

Looking down at the card, he whispered, "I think I can do that."

Standing up, "Good, now if you'll forgive me the OCD freak in me is going to clean this mess and maybe you could I don't know... call Jack and talk to him?"

Emily bit her lower lip when he pulled out the cell phone, "How do I make this up to him?" Hotch asked.

"Maybe you just start with, I love you?" Emily told him "That's all a kid needs to hear from their parent."

Hotch dialed the cell phone, and watched Emily walked around the apartment straightening up.

"Emily?" Hotch said watching her turn around to look at him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Emily said smiling at him as he turned to the conversation on his phone.

* * *

William James said, "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

The review box is lonely, give him a hug. We all need one...


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